weight lost and walking

Monday, August 07, 2017

Lacking The Tools So I Can fine Peace

I know there two things in my life I need to fine with in my self. But at this time I lack the tools. I know I blog about them in the past...One is my parents will...and I know it came out in the wash. But it stills bothers me that in the will I was left $1.00...Confession time...I've felt like going up to the cemetery an pissing on my dad grave...the only reason I don't want my sons being so angry with me.
One thing I know I need to do is get will and make sure it fair between Bart and Sawyer.
The other thing is the time I got in trouble for something I didn't do. I've blog about it...I got false accused for cheating on test. Then when I go home.
This happen I would guess the late 60's or early 70's. And it taught me not to be the shinning light. Turn down the light you might be glowing.
Well I need the tools to heal from these things. And I bet there plenty more with in my self. They haven't pop up or there not ready to show up.

Went over to Regis and I'm so surprise how well he healing from hip surgery. And now is ready for outpatient services.
Plus Liz came a long ways. It use to be like going to a three ring circus...Every time we went some place I would think "here we go again"

Before I actual head off to work I help Murphy put metal piece on the peers of our deck. Took a pole and leverage them up. I felt it all day at work and Regis offer me one of his morphine pills.
The dosage he takes I would just fall asleep. If I did take one I would have to call Murphy up to come and get me.

I've start fitday and my goal is to keep my calorie count between 1,800 and 2,000. Got in a short walk and this happen before I lift up the peer on deck.
Even got short walk in.
I've start to color in the tarot card I been working on, King of Swords. Liz help me with how to do a candle and which to represent "doesn't matter how bad things are there a little light of hope or optimistic"

Coffee is on


  1. No, no, no, no, no. Be the shining light. Sometimes you're the only light in a place full of darkness. (Although, be safe. I'm assuming you're safe.)

    Your parents suck. $1 in the will. That's just wrong. For your kids, you could tell them that you want everything split between them, and if for some reason the will gets wonky, they'll know to work it out between them. (This is how things got worked out in my family after various deaths. It helps that everyone is on pretty good terms.)

    1. It did work out...My parents will after both of them was gone would of gone to my mother sister. I did get me inheritence my Aunt just hand every thing over to me...She said I'm 40 and if I can't manage my life by then it was to late...I'm safe but I can always fine the silver lining in every day things

  2. Maybe you just need to write all those things on separate pieces of paper and then burn each one while saying I forgive myself, or I forgive my father, or whoever it is that has you feeling not at peace.

  3. Hari OM
    River's suggestion is a good one. It can be a powerful practice to make a ritual of letting go. I also agree with Liz - shine on!!! YAM xx

  4. Being left $1, that's lawyerese for "we didn't forget about you, we deliberately left you out". And that must really hurt, even if someone else gives you the money. I'm sorry. The hurts our families inflict on us run deep. But you do need to find a way to let it go.

  5. What "Songbird" said. You can't let things over which you had absolutely no control continue to eat away at your peace of mind. The one thing you can control is the attitude you adopt toward the "slings and arrows" of outrageous fortune.

  6. Good luck with your calorie counting Dora, it sounds easy but it's really hard. I did so well today and then spoilt it by eating a tub of ice cream that had over 1000 calories and then I get so mad with myself, but hey, tomorrow is another day 😀 good luck with the fostering plan.

  7. Good to hear that Regis is doing well, considering.

  8. It can be a powerful practice to make a ritual of letting go. I also agree with Liz

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